Today has been the third day I've spent with both children on my own from dawn till dusk, at what time I've left the house to go to one of my book club meetings. Exhausting.
It's been exhausting but also amazing, empowering, fulfilling.
Amazing because both children prove that they cooperate in whatever situation they find themselves in. A week ago M seemed to need her father all day long. Little A was quite demanding, seldom comforted at the breast and rarely accepting being put down. I really thought the husband's first week back at work would be a tough one and I was prepared. They have surprised me greatly and in the best possible way. M complained the first morning about her father having left without her. Although we had informed her repeatedly that he would go to work the following morning. Then, she asked for him once or twice during the morning and that was it. The second and third days she complained a bit after waking up and was quite happy the rest of the day. A bit of crying on the first day and it was about all. We have been mostly spending a nice time the three of us.
Empowering because the days when my dear girl was rejecting me seemed to have ended. This time together has reinforced the bonding in a way I was highly in need for.
Fulfilling because despite the -nearly total- lack of -me-time I keep thinking this is what I want to do.
I've been trying to have the best age-appropriate activities out on our shelves, which has meant hard work after hours to have materials ready. We have all been very busy to have meals beforehand in the refrigerator and a reasonable schedule to go by. But apart from logistics management, the kids have helped a great deal. Baby A has accepted napping on his tommy on a little mattress even in the garden. He has actually slept for longer stretches of time on the mattress than in the wrap (it might be due to the fact that I may be requested to do things like playing table tennis on the floor while he is sleeping). He has peed and pooped in his potty each and every time I've put him over it, which has made the whole diaper issue much simpler. M has engaged in most of the suggested activities and even if she needs my focused attention most of the time also understands that the baby needs me and accepts, even encourages my attending him at the first whimper. It is not unusual to hear her telling me "give him milk" (= nurse him) or "he wants you to hold him". She is of the most delightful kind, my girl.
On the first day I was making up some story and saying "this wonder, that wonder" to refer to them both and M looked at me first and at A then and told him "AND this wonder" referring to me. Oh, she made my heart melt. That same day, when her father came back home in the evening she told him "papalou I do love you" semi-quoting from a book we have called "Koala Lou" where the koala's mother tells him all the time "Koala Lou I do love you". It also touches my heart when I see her taking care of one of her teddies. She nurses them, helps them go to the toilet, asks them many times if they need milk or how do they feel, and now even tells them "oh, I will hug you, I will kiss you, I will caress you".
One of the things I definitely have to improve is the timing of naps. Except for the first day, when M napped for two and a half hours following a fall from her swing, any time there has been a window of opportunity to get her to nap, I've had to do something else. I know it is important that she gets some rest but yesterday and today I was unable to make her wind down. I hope I will be able to change this. Something else is the kind of activities I know she is ready for which I can't provide for lack of materials. I am going to place an order this weekend and I truly look forward to starting using some Montessori materials with her.
I will take the opportunity to mention that we have finally decided to homeschool -following mostly the Montessori method- next year. Totally or partially we aren't yet sure but our idea is to refurbish our basement, tidy and improve our garden, convert the shed for garden tools into a play house, and get Montessori materials. We might open our house to other children but even if there are no families interested, we will carry on with the project. I am very happy we have finally decided that even if M prefers to go to school, even if no other families join in our project, the expenses will be an investment for we see the Montessori method really works for us. M thrives when offered the right kind of activities and I am sure she will do so when we have access to real first class materials.
Well, that's more or less what our last three days have looked like. I could ramble on for hours but going beyond midnight can be a bit too much. Good night!!
It's been exhausting but also amazing, empowering, fulfilling.
Amazing because both children prove that they cooperate in whatever situation they find themselves in. A week ago M seemed to need her father all day long. Little A was quite demanding, seldom comforted at the breast and rarely accepting being put down. I really thought the husband's first week back at work would be a tough one and I was prepared. They have surprised me greatly and in the best possible way. M complained the first morning about her father having left without her. Although we had informed her repeatedly that he would go to work the following morning. Then, she asked for him once or twice during the morning and that was it. The second and third days she complained a bit after waking up and was quite happy the rest of the day. A bit of crying on the first day and it was about all. We have been mostly spending a nice time the three of us.
Empowering because the days when my dear girl was rejecting me seemed to have ended. This time together has reinforced the bonding in a way I was highly in need for.
Fulfilling because despite the -nearly total- lack of -me-time I keep thinking this is what I want to do.
I've been trying to have the best age-appropriate activities out on our shelves, which has meant hard work after hours to have materials ready. We have all been very busy to have meals beforehand in the refrigerator and a reasonable schedule to go by. But apart from logistics management, the kids have helped a great deal. Baby A has accepted napping on his tommy on a little mattress even in the garden. He has actually slept for longer stretches of time on the mattress than in the wrap (it might be due to the fact that I may be requested to do things like playing table tennis on the floor while he is sleeping). He has peed and pooped in his potty each and every time I've put him over it, which has made the whole diaper issue much simpler. M has engaged in most of the suggested activities and even if she needs my focused attention most of the time also understands that the baby needs me and accepts, even encourages my attending him at the first whimper. It is not unusual to hear her telling me "give him milk" (= nurse him) or "he wants you to hold him". She is of the most delightful kind, my girl.
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| Not-so-little baby catching hold of cushions |
One of the things I definitely have to improve is the timing of naps. Except for the first day, when M napped for two and a half hours following a fall from her swing, any time there has been a window of opportunity to get her to nap, I've had to do something else. I know it is important that she gets some rest but yesterday and today I was unable to make her wind down. I hope I will be able to change this. Something else is the kind of activities I know she is ready for which I can't provide for lack of materials. I am going to place an order this weekend and I truly look forward to starting using some Montessori materials with her.
 |
| The most successful suggested activity this week: pouring colored water with a funnel |
I will take the opportunity to mention that we have finally decided to homeschool -following mostly the Montessori method- next year. Totally or partially we aren't yet sure but our idea is to refurbish our basement, tidy and improve our garden, convert the shed for garden tools into a play house, and get Montessori materials. We might open our house to other children but even if there are no families interested, we will carry on with the project. I am very happy we have finally decided that even if M prefers to go to school, even if no other families join in our project, the expenses will be an investment for we see the Montessori method really works for us. M thrives when offered the right kind of activities and I am sure she will do so when we have access to real first class materials.
Well, that's more or less what our last three days have looked like. I could ramble on for hours but going beyond midnight can be a bit too much. Good night!!
I I don't have any pictures of the invitation to paint, but as you can guess from the finished collage, there were some paper clippings -deliberately cut in the shape of a tree, ovals for the birds' bodies, triangles for the beaks, little rectangles for the legs, and so on. There were sponges and some little plates with finger paint.
