Just the three of us

Today has been the third day I've spent with both children on my own from dawn till dusk, at what time I've left the house to go to one of my book club meetings. Exhausting.
It's been exhausting but also amazing, empowering, fulfilling.
Amazing because both children prove that they cooperate in whatever situation they find themselves in. A week ago M seemed to need her father all day long. Little A was quite demanding, seldom comforted at the breast and rarely accepting being put down. I really thought the husband's first week back at work would be a tough one and I was prepared. They have surprised me greatly and in the best possible way. M complained the first morning about her father having left without her. Although we had informed her repeatedly that he would go to work the following morning. Then, she asked for him once or twice during the morning and that was it. The second and third days she complained a bit after waking up and was quite happy the rest of the day. A bit of crying on the first day and it was about all. We have been mostly spending a nice time the three of us.
Empowering because the days when my dear girl was rejecting me seemed to have ended. This time together has reinforced the bonding in a way I was highly in need for.
Fulfilling because despite the -nearly total- lack of -me-time I keep thinking this is what I want to do.
I've been trying to have the best age-appropriate activities out on our shelves, which has meant hard work after hours to have materials ready. We have all been very busy to have meals beforehand in the refrigerator and a reasonable schedule to go by. But apart from logistics management, the kids have helped a great deal. Baby A has accepted napping on his tommy on a little mattress even in the garden. He has actually slept for longer stretches of time on the mattress than in the wrap (it might be due to the fact that I may be requested to do things like playing table tennis on the floor while he is sleeping). He has peed and pooped in his potty each and every time I've put him over it, which has made the whole diaper issue much simpler. M has engaged in most of the suggested activities and even if she needs my focused attention most of the time also understands that the baby needs me and accepts, even encourages my attending him at the first whimper. It is not unusual to hear her telling me "give him milk" (= nurse him) or "he wants you to hold him". She is of the most delightful kind, my girl.

Not-so-little baby catching hold of cushions

On the first day I was making up some story and saying "this wonder, that wonder" to refer to them both and M looked at me first and at A then and told him "AND this wonder" referring to me. Oh, she made my heart melt. That same day, when her father came back home in the evening she told him "papalou I do love you" semi-quoting from a book we have called "Koala Lou" where the koala's mother tells him all the time "Koala Lou I do love you". It also touches my heart when I see her taking care of one of her teddies. She nurses them, helps them go to the toilet, asks them many times if they need milk or how do they feel, and now even tells them "oh, I will hug you, I will kiss you, I will caress you".
One of the things I definitely have to improve is the timing of naps. Except for the first day, when M napped for two and a half hours following a fall from her swing, any time there has been a window of opportunity to get her to nap, I've had to do something else. I know it is important that she gets some rest but yesterday and today I was unable to make her wind down. I hope I will be able to change this. Something else is the kind of activities I know she is ready for which I can't provide for lack of materials. I am going to place an order this weekend and I truly look forward to starting using some Montessori materials with her.

The most successful suggested activity this week: pouring colored water with a funnel

I will take the opportunity to mention that we have finally decided to homeschool -following mostly the Montessori method- next year. Totally or partially we aren't yet sure but our idea is to refurbish our basement, tidy and improve our garden, convert the shed for garden tools into a play house, and get Montessori materials. We might open our house to other children but even if there are no families interested, we will carry on with the project. I am very happy we have finally decided that even if M prefers to go to school, even if no other families join in our project, the expenses will be an investment for we see the Montessori method  really works for us. M thrives when offered the right kind of activities and I am sure she will do so when we have access to real first class materials.
Well, that's more or less what our last three days have looked like. I could ramble on for hours but going beyond midnight can be a bit too much. Good night!!

Mirrors

My baby generally hates being on his back but the mirror has been a discovery. He can gaze at himself for quite some time. I love how he can concentrate on his reflection!

Our week in images

Invitation to play: flower patterns and bottle tops

Invitation to play: contact paper flowers, colored paper clippings, bottle caps and buttons.

While the older siblings had a play date...

I got it!!

Pretend play and the three months milestone

Biyearly update, kind of...

My daughter has surprised me with pretend games as of late. At 2,3 years she spends each day some time pretending she is having tea with some friends. She has a tent in the playing room where she always "makes" us "tea and makrutes" (an Arabic cookie I believe she learnt from a book called "Muk travels around the world"). She also has some imaginary friends who apparently live in the tent. She has even given them names and keeps mentioning them.
Two weeks ago we attended her great granma's funeral in a Catholic church and she was apparently fascinated by the building for she started mentioning churches all the time and then she decided there was a mouse in the church and everything was turned into "mice in churches". Then, the church kick waned but she keeps inventing new games. Whenever we go to a park she gets under a slide or shack and pretends that is her house.
For two reasons this has really taken me aback. I thought pretend play was something that started later in a child's life, or so I had read, and I have never encouraged it, not consciously at least. She has a cabinet in our kitchen and another one in the bathroom but they are used to store real objects that she uses for practical life activities such as cooking, eating, washing or grooming herself. Some people might have thought her kitchen cabinet was a play kitchen but that is not the case. The only toy food she has is a set of cutting wooden food box that is kept in our living-room shelves with other items. Since the food in that set is sliced or cut in pieces I thought we might use it to work on fractions but I don't expect this to happen any soon.
Another game she has come up with all by herself is the "I spy" in the way of "tell me a word". Then, you tell her one and she starts looking around for the object you've just mentioned. This is a wonderful way to consolidate words seldom used. And talking about language, it is now evident that M's first language is Catalan. I guess it is only normal for this is the language she hears around. Since she started to interact with adults, her Catalan vocabulary has widened a lot. She understands English and does sometimes answer back in English or makes up mixed words such as "neetem" (need conjugated in Catalan), "playem" (from play) or "tuquing" (from tocar) but doesn't generally use English to express herself.

M is really into cooking, spooning, funneling, washing dishes, and other activities that tend to happen in the kitchen.

Other of her interests in the gross motor field are shooting balls, which she is very good at, going through tunnels or climbing onto places, and well, movement in general.

In the social aspect, M often asks to see children and we try to provide them whenever possible. As I have sometimes mentioned, in Spain most children M's age are in kindergartens plus we live in   an underpopulated area so it is not very often that we get to see children. Anyway, her interest is not  yet in playing with them, she enjoys watching them and interacts only with the ones she is more familiar with. We got a full garden of children yesterday and she had a great time. It is amazing to see her while children are playing with her toys and using her things, not always in the gentlest possible way. I feel very clumsy when expressing this. I don't like labeling behavior and escape using words such as "sharing" or "generosity". In fact what I am talking about is not exactly sharing I believe, at least not in the way most adults seem to think about the issue. We have never ever prompted her to share anything and yet it is beautiful indeed to see her "sharing" from her heart as it is to see her offering you her food even if it is her favorite food and there is only one piece left.
I have also noticed this girl of mine is growing very empathetic, as well. Some things have been worrying me as of late and whenever she sees me worry she urges me to laugh. "Riu, mama, riu", she says.


Dear little A is about to turn from tommy to back position. I expect it to happen any day. This baby of mine is really keen on movement. It started already in the belly and when very little time before his birth he did a somersault and changed from head to breech position. Most of the milestones I recall happening later are already taking place; turning, holding and raising head, doing crunches. Unlike her sister at his age, he sleeps much and generally he only wants to nurse when he is really hungry. I am amazed at how different two siblings can be. She could spend her days at the breast and he is sometimes annoyed if I offer him milk and he is just sleepy, or so it was at least until now that he's turned 3 months. Some patterns are starting to change, though. We are setting a bedtime routine that seems to work, something we never did with M. Hence her sleep habits have never been too good, or so I fear. I used to regard the idea of routines as a purely grown-up thing convenient to adult's lifestyle but I might have grown up myself for I find they can be useful and helpful for the baby. In general we go more with the flow of the everyday rhythm, trying to leave ample room for what might come up but this time around I have brought myself to set a bedtime routine to which I am sticking to.

Well, the feeling of time going by real fast is something that becomes too obvious when you have children. Already three months and it seems it was yesterday that I found out I was pregnant!
Three months have had to pass to enable me to write a long update post, and there is yet so much I am leaving unsaid. I truly hope I will be able to write oftener now but I feel I can't promise anything. Sorry!